Worstlink

Still no Earthlink DSL. As I suspected, I've been able to google multiple examples of recent citywide or national outages that last for days. It won't do, Earthlink, old boy, it just won't do, you know. I was something of a Luddite years ago, but now I've embraced the technological shift, sink or swim, you know, and I've gotten to where I'm at least comfortable with it. I've bought the tools and read the manuals and asked the questions and studied the examples. I've got everything I need to lead a reasonable life as a communications person in the digital age—everything I need except one: a functioning god-damn broadband connection. Which I'm paying for, by the way. Support? Ha! When you get in touch they tell you they're not aware of any outages in your area and ask if all the connections are plugged in and so forth. The tech people live far away—about fifteen hours by jet, I'd guess—which is out of effective punching distance.

So I'm calling Verizon. Fios, baby! Vroom vroom!

Right now? Well, I'm stealing the neighbor's wifi, obviously. I mean, come on, it's an emergency.