Further Reading About Pirates

Evidently today's pirates get along well with each other—there's too much at stake to fight, since they get ransoms of two million pounds or so. Personally, if I were involved in a lucrative endeavor like that I'd try to pull my weight and not create trouble. So the reports of a shootout on the supertanker currently hijacked by them aren't true: "Pirate spokesman Sugule Ali told the BBC Somali Service at the time: "Everybody is happy. We were firing guns to celebrate Eid."

Eid ul-Fitr is the end of Ramadan, of course. They may be pirates—who among us is perfect?—but they're not, you know, atheists or anything.

By the way, if any pirate groups need a spokesman, I'm available. I know the media, I present a mild, calm demeanor (and wear glasses), and seasickness is something I hear other people describing but have never experienced for myself. I'm eager to help people get a rounded, nuanced view of what pirates are all about. Just leave a message for me in the comments area. And thanks for your time!