With Apologies to My Onliest Hero Calvin Trillin

Because of a certain name that's been in the news lately, the Times resurrected a two-year-old piece by my hero Calvin Trillin lamenting the rise of several politicians whose names are not amenable to use in verse. That's because among the other things he does with comprehensive awesomeness and seemingly effortless aplomb, Trillin writes "deadline verse" about news events for The Nation. (He says he is "partial to politicians with iambic names that rhyme with a lot of disparaging words.") I'm happy to say he was up to the formidable task and disposed of Mr. Blagojevich with that same aplomb I mentioned earlier. But when I read about his concern over rhyming the name, I thought maybe I'd try myself. It's a fools-rush-in sort of thing, I guess. At any rate, here's my attempt to imitate the master:

Poetic Muse! Assist me now! I pine! I've lost the joy of which
I once did sing, because I cannot rhyme the name "Blagojevich."

My need is great! The crimes are vile, and yet it's odd, the boy of which
we speak might not be tarred in verse 'cause he's named Rod Blagojevich.

He's far from coy, this governor, but God! the far-from-coy of which
he stands accused will ne'er be limned in verse! That Rod Blagojevich.