Generally Speaking

You can hardly be thought of as looking for trouble, sitting in your living room early on a Saturday evening, but I saw a light come bobbing on my porch and I braced myself. Knock knock knock! I paused the film I was watching and got up. A woman and a man were at the door, full of bonhomie despite the chilly air—and chilly reception—and the fact that they were working on Saturday night. Was I Mister Boyardee? (It was something that sounded like that.) No, I was pleased to report, I was not. The woman was momentarily fazed. I was able to assure here that Mr. Boyardee and I had no history whatsoever and that I could not furnish her with further information on Mr. Boyardee.

Was I, perchance, Mr. Freeman?

Damn it, I was. No use denying it.

Well, they were from Verizon (my ISP) just checking up on things, because Verizon doesn't give a tinker's damn if it's Saturday night. I get my phone and Internet from Verizon, n'est-ce pas? Indeed I do. But not my TV. And why might that be, she was curious to know?

Because I don't get TV from anyone. I dread telling people about this,

"You don't have anything?"

"No," I said. "I don't have any tubes bringing TV into my house." The woman's smile didn't fade, but she clearly was flummoxed. I decided to clarify the situation.

"I'm a social freak," I said.

She allowed as how TV had a lot of crap  on it, which I thought was generous of her, since she was selling TV. And she and her helper evidenced a willingness to get off my porch once they realized it was a no-sale situation. I really don't ask more than that.

And then I went back in and unpaused the movie. It happened to be The General, a silent film from 1926 by Buster Keaton. I'd rented it from the library the day before. It's considered one of the best films ever made, but I really didn't care about that. I personally consider it one of the most enjoyable films ever made. Parts of it make me laugh out loud. Ordinarily I'd have to pay two bucks for it, but sometimes, at the library, they forget to charge me. I can't imagine Verizon would do that. Or make The General available, either. But at least they took "No" for an answer. When I'm just chillin' at home and strangers knock on my door, the willingness to take "No" for an answer is something I value highly.