The Short Farewell
I had to repel a boarder again today. It was the typical thing, I got back from running errands and saw a guy coming up onto my porch.
bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam
He jumped a little when I opened the door. "You surprised me," he said, presumably because he was used to hammering for hours. His knock had that certain implacable sound, like he'd gotten lessons from the East German secret police or something.
Turns out he's from the Big Cable Company. They were doing "system checks" in the neighborhood and he saw I wasn't signed up. Just have to be different, that's me! So of course it was imcumbent on me to explain myself. I didn't want to get into the whole thing about not wanting TV that I told the Verizon people about the other day. I just said I was with Verizon, and let him assume I got all my TV needs from them, which is true in a way.
He asked if I was totally satisfied with them, and I nodded. I was trying to seem gloomy and unenthusiastic about his presence and about everything in life.
He narrowed his eyes in a comic-opera parody of craftiness. "How much you paying them?" he said, "because..."
But then he slowed to a halt. I was waving my hand in a sort of gloomy bye-bye way. And that's what I said, as he was talking: "Bye." And then once more, "Bye," as he watched my hand, which was still waving. He turned and walked off my porch.
It felt a little brutal, but I enjoyed it. And really, if the entire army of people I'm currently not buying stuff from is going to march up my steps and hammer on my door, I'm going to have to deal briskly with them, life being short and all.
bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam
He jumped a little when I opened the door. "You surprised me," he said, presumably because he was used to hammering for hours. His knock had that certain implacable sound, like he'd gotten lessons from the East German secret police or something.
Turns out he's from the Big Cable Company. They were doing "system checks" in the neighborhood and he saw I wasn't signed up. Just have to be different, that's me! So of course it was imcumbent on me to explain myself. I didn't want to get into the whole thing about not wanting TV that I told the Verizon people about the other day. I just said I was with Verizon, and let him assume I got all my TV needs from them, which is true in a way.
He asked if I was totally satisfied with them, and I nodded. I was trying to seem gloomy and unenthusiastic about his presence and about everything in life.
He narrowed his eyes in a comic-opera parody of craftiness. "How much you paying them?" he said, "because..."
But then he slowed to a halt. I was waving my hand in a sort of gloomy bye-bye way. And that's what I said, as he was talking: "Bye." And then once more, "Bye," as he watched my hand, which was still waving. He turned and walked off my porch.
It felt a little brutal, but I enjoyed it. And really, if the entire army of people I'm currently not buying stuff from is going to march up my steps and hammer on my door, I'm going to have to deal briskly with them, life being short and all.
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